New year's resolutions and how to do it right. Blog #20
For many of us new year's day symbolises a magic day and a perfect time to start new resolutions. As we leave a year behind we tend to associate and blame all of our problems to a bad year, hence the desire to start a new year with a blank slate, a strong start and a positive attitude.
New year new meh !
For probably equally as many however, the new year new me concept is laughed at and triggers a lot of adverse reactions, most presumably because they may have tried themselves and failed in the past. As with most things we tend to react emotionally and label everything over simplistically on a binary template: Right or wrong. Good or bad. Black or white. And we forget that our life, the world and its people and the universe altogether operate on more than just one dimension.
New year's resolutions are ok and healthy
What is a new year resolution anyway ? It is taking action to create changes on the first day of the year. No more no less. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The problem really is the underlying silly belief that if I fail to commit to my resolutions within the first 2 months of the year I am a failure and I can't start again... or something similar.
I myself enjoy planning new year's resolutions. This year I will be changing and updating some of the ways I look after myself, my health and my business. The difference is that as much as I have new year's resolutions I also have new month's resolutions, new week's resolutions and new day's resolutions... A resolution is a decision, an intent, a correction, an upgrade... There is nothing dramatic or irreversible about it and that is the key thing to remember to ensure that our new year's resolutions are managed with an optimal chance of success.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step- Lao Tzu
It is the pressure of the amplitude of the task that intimidates most of us to retrieve into our comfort zone, like a shy turtle, back into that uncomfortable place where we repeat habits we are aware are not beneficial to our well being or the inception of our perfect life.
The new year's resolutions are good for one thing: they remind us of yearly plans. Grander scale changes than the ones we may schedule weekly. So for them to work they must be addressed in the same way. The level of magnitude of the changes we want to create are directly proportional to the amount of time, intent, energy and repetition required to execute them. So instead of looking at the top of the mountain from the starting point at the very bottom we want to design a long term plan of action and then focus on each step, one at a time. When we do so we replace pressure and the subconscious numbing fear of failure/rejection with execution. We want to take our time, learn to enjoy the process and recalibrate as we do so because the whole point of it is that we have the whole year ahead to make it happen...
The mind does what it thinks we want it to do- Marisa Peer
It is helpful to remind ourselves one of the fundamental law of the mind: whatever we focus on we get more of. It is therefore crucial to focus on the things we want as opposed to the things we don't want. When we focus on a negative i.e. I don't want to smoke or drink anymore, I don't want to stay in that dead end job, I don't want to be single, etc... We ask for more of the things that we don't want. Instead we want to focus on positive and powerful visions of ourselves: I want to be free from addiction, I want to live a life of purpose, I want to attract the right person to share my life with, etc...
Wether you think you can or wether you think you can't, you're right- Henry Ford
In exactly the same way we want to focus on what we can as opposed to what we can'tsince our actions are limited by our visions. So many fall at the first hurdle because of the habit of highlighting the negative for fear of not constructing an optimally safe environment for their project to flourish. I have new business ideas but I can't do this because of reasons XYZ. I want to lose weight but it's so hard. I want to stop the negative self talk but I can't help... Replace those with: I may not be able to do XYZ at this point in time but I certainly can apply ABC. I want to lose weight and I absolutely can by taking it one step at a time and with the help of the right personal trainer that will encourage me instead of putting me down. I can diminish the negative self talk using a journal, discipline and patience...
A start begins after an end
Before we start a new habit we must first stop the old bad habit. For many, the reason they find it so hard to accomplish their new years' resolutions year after year is a subconscious self sabotage program. Until we address this the internal conflict between the conscious and the subconscious mind will make it very hard if not impossible for some to allow change in their life. Rapid Transformational Therapy is the protocol I use as a therapist and by far the most efficient, powerful and quickest way to get rid of any traces of self sabotage. January tend to be a very busy month for me as many people are aware of the fact that they can absolutely start the new year with a bang, by investing into a Rapid Transformational Therapy session designed to let go of disempowering habits of thoughts that have held them back for too long.
On your marks. Ready ? Steady ? Go !!!
Once we have gotten rid of the metaphorical thorn that was embedded into our foot all those years there is nothing left to prevent us from walking, running and leaping into that life we want, because we know we deserve this and we are finally ready to embrace it. There is nothing like empowerment, and the perspective of a new year is a lot of it squeezed into one moment. So we want to see this like an opportunity to create and feel a burst of positive energy in our heart and our body.
It is paramount to bear in mind however that what matters is to keep the energy high and not deflate. If things don't go to plan it is ok. All we need to do is to come up with a new and better plan. I teach and remind my clients the simple and often forgotten notion that life is made of moments. After each moment is always another moment. And each moment holds the same value and the same potential. I also teach and remind my clients how easy, simple and fun life is and should be for all.