The nature and dynamic of arrogance and humility. Blog #17

There are 2 fundamental energies we use to create all things in life: Love and Fear.

Some people go to work everyday because they love what they do, the project they are working on and the buzz and people at work= Love. Some others have a job because they need to pay the bills and are scared that they might not find a job that pays that well in those financially challenging times= Fear.

Some people are in a relationship because they love their other half, they want to wake up next to that same lovely face every morning and create a wonderful life together= Love. Some others stay in a relationship because they are scared of being alone, or perhaps because they think they might not find anyone as good as their current partner because they are no longer a spring chicken= Fear.

Some people use Religion to connect with the Universe (God), and to learn how to practice love, compassion and forgiveness to self and others in order to become better people= Love. Some others go to Church because they are scared of burning in Hell= Fear.

Some people are alive because they love their life, every morning is a new exciting adventure and they really are grateful for the immense privilege to experience the miracle of life= Love. Some others are alive because they are scared of dying= Fear.

Choose the energy you use to create all things wisely because they deliver a very different experience. Some might say that the system of fear, division, control and competitiveness works very well for them and many before them. Those people will never know the extent of their full potential until and if they change because we can only either survive or thrive, not both at the same time. Fear is a survival energy. Love on the other hand is the energy of creation. The energy we choose dictates our state and how we impact the world and others.

What are arrogance and humility ?

Arrogance is believing that we are better than others. Humility is believing that we are not better than others. So when someone is arrogant they won't listen to what others have to say, they won't let new informations in because they know better and more than them. Being arrogant is similar to being skeptical in the sense that it prevents people from growing their views and broaden their perspective of the world. Arrogance stems from Fear, the fear of being lesser. Arrogance is a pre-emptive strike against judgements. Narcissists typically are petrified with that fear and utilise arrogance to protect themselves from it.

On the other hand someone humble is always open minded, curious and suffers no fear of listening to and learning from others, and if that doesn't work for them at least they have tried. Humility is not believing that we are lesser than others, it is understanding the impermanence of the Universe, the ever changing state of things and how we must always re-question ourselves in order to regularly update our connection with that Universe. The opposite of Fear is Love. Unconditional Love is Faith. Being humble is having faith in the Universe by surrendering to it and allow ourselves to expand at its rate.

In that light it is fair to say that arrogance is a manifestation of Fear, and humility is a manifestation of Love. Since we must choose the energy we use to create all things choosing humility is a better option than arrogance if we want to discover and embrace the full range of our opportunities.

The brain is a CCTV camera

Our mind is constantly on and records all informations from the outside in and the inside out 24/7. It is a survival requirement to adapt to any new situations. So when someone breeds arrogance they are sending the message of fear to their own mind saying: I am arrogant to protect myself from judgements and I don't want to be judged because I am scared of what others may say or think about me, because since I am not enough I might not be able to cope with what they say and think about me. Being arrogant is fuelling the notion that we are not enough.

When someone practices humility on the other hand they own the courage of exposure, of vulnerability. I don't need to protect myself against nothing because I trust the Universe, because I belong, because I am enough. When we choose humility we choose love and we reconnect with ourselves. Humility just like kindness and faith is a strength, not a weakness. People who believe otherwise are the ones that suffer the most from it.

Some beliefs are better than others

I often teach people at my talks how we are all limited by our beliefs at the omission of the equally true opposite fact that we also can be empowered by some of them. One of the most useful belief I own is the belief that everything will be get better in the end. I probably spent a lot of time in front of the TV as a kid, learning from movies happy endings. That belief literally saved my life more than once. The other one I cherish is the belief that there is always more to learn and I must stay humble in the face of it. To the day of today I regularly re-question myself, all my beliefs and all my values on a weekly basis.

Often people ask me:" how do I love myself ?". Dropping the sword, the shield and the suit of armour and embracing vulnerability through humility is a start... There is nothing to fear or to defend ourselves against, we are enough.

Conclusion

As a therapist I combine Rapid Transformational Therapy and Mindset and Mindfulness Coaching over a 6 weeks mentorship to address depression, anxiety, addiction and self sabotage. Ultimately I aim at empowering people with a new found awareness of empowering habits of thoughts and emotions. You would have guessed by now, humility is one of them.